


Life’s A Beach

by A_A_Ron17



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Day At The Beach, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Short One Shot, This is DUMB, kind of crack, unintentional watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 18:49:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14219496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_A_Ron17/pseuds/A_A_Ron17
Summary: Hanzo gets stung by something at the beach, so McCree tries to help as best he can.





	Life’s A Beach

**Author's Note:**

> This is really stupid and short but I just had to get the idea out of my head. If the characters are OOC it’s because I don’t know much about Overwatch but my sister does and she loves these two so I wrote a fanfic for her. The grammar might be butthole because I wrote this half asleep. Enjoy! :D

It was surreal really. McCree didn’t really think he would ever see the uptight archer have fun at the beach. 

The beach. 

The place where sand lodges itself within every crevice of your body. Where seagulls swoop down to steal your snacks and fill the air with their loud cries. Where the wind blows all your belongings into the dunes and you have to run after it like an idiot. He found peace... here?

McCree was lying on a well worn towel that had been in his bathroom for god knows how long. The ends were tattered and the once bright orange color was now faded into a dull cream shade. His hat was perched on his crunchy, dry, bleached hair. The ends swooping out making it appear as if his hair was trying to escape from underneath the hat. 

Why he bleached his hair, well he didn’t really know himself. Why not? He had nothing to lose other than the health of his natural deep brown locks.

He was finally relaxing with both arms resting behind his head, his legs crossed, and a cold beer in his hand to nurse off of. He scanned the area, watching the waves as the rest of the Overwatch crew played Volleyball a few feet away. His eyes were locked onto more than the waves though.

His eyes drooped in a dreamy manner as he watched the tattooed man wring his long black hair out. Hanzo was making his way back into the water after getting what looked like a popsicle. McCree watched as the man stuffed the whole frozen treat in his mouth so he could pull his hair into a tight bun.

Speaking of tight, McCree was getting a little too excited watching the man innocently eat a popsicle. The way his hips swayed and the wet material of his short, black swim trunks left almost nothing to the imagination had McCree practically panting like a dog in heat. He quickly angled his hat lower onto his strong brow so it didn’t seem like he was staring.

McCree seemed to have a little crush on the beauty now waist deep in the water. Hanzo never seemed to really notice him though. He always had a snide remark to McCree’s compliments, which in return damaged his ego quite a bit. He gave up pursuing him and enjoyed just watching him... for now. 

Just as McCree was about to grab a cigar to light up, he heard a disturbance in the water. Hanzo was now limping out of the water with his face scrunched in obvious pain. 

As soon as Hanzo sat clumsily on his neat little towel, McCree had already started to stand up and access the situation. 

Hanzo turned to look at the tall figure approaching and quickly turned away and cursed in his native tongue. The way McCree struggled walking in the sand was enough to make Hanzo stifle a laugh but his face turned to stone the instant he stopped in front of the archer’s towel. Hanzo frowned.

“I would like to be left alone right now McCree, I don’t want your comments”, he huffed. Hanzo turned away and he almost looked... embarrassed.

“What’s the matter darlin’? I saw ya limpin’ out there”, McCree asked but the sound of the waves crashing filled the silence between them. “Look, I can’t help ya if ya don’t tell me what’s wrong buttercup.”

Hanzo glared daggers him. 

“Would you stop doing that?!”

“Doin’ what?” McCree asked innocently.

“The— the strange names you keep calling me. Stop calling me them”, Hanzo said bitterly with a light flush over his cheeks. 

“Alright... sugar”, McCree said with a wide grin stretched on his face.

“Please go back to your towel!”

McCree knelt down next to Hanzo so he could inspect the injury further. Hanzo visibly squirmed away and McCree let out a sigh. 

“Now tell me where it hurts darlin’, did ya step on somethin’? There’s a lot of, uh, coral around here—“ 

“I think something stung me.” 

“Where do you think it stung ya? Was it a jellyfish or somethin’?”

Hanzo played with the edge of the towel, crinkling it in frustration and humiliation. His eyes remained downcast as he decided to not answer. 

McCree was about to give up when Hanzo suddenly winced in pain and McCree’s hand was quick to grab his shoulder. 

“Hey now just tell me what’s wrong! You’re really startin’ to worry me Hanzo”, his voice came out stern but he really was worried.

Hanzo mumbled softly to the ground.

“You’ll have ta speak up sweetheart I can’t hear ya.”

“SOMETHING STUNG ME ON THE BUTT!” 

“...”

There was an audible silence for a few seconds before McCree chuckled low in his chest. 

“Somethin’— somethin’ stung ya on the... butt? Is there a mark or somethin’?” McCree asked while trying to keep his laughter at bay. Hanzo seemed to notice. 

“If you are just going to laugh at me then leave me alone. I’m glad my pain is funny to you!”

“Now now butterbean, I don’t mean any offense”, he said while waving his arms as if to calm the distressed man down. “Don’t tell me ya don’t see how this is even a little bit funny. C'mon lighten up a lil’ Hanzo”, he gave a warm smile. 

Hanzo in return rolled his eyes and gave a smirk so small McCree almost didn’t catch it. Then his face hardened again.

“Alright cowman, it is sort of humorous. It still really hurts though...” 

McCree’s face softened as he saw Hanzo’s eyebrows knit together in pain. 

He would have to find Angela to help but where in world was she? 

His eyes darted around the volleyball court in search of a blonde ponytail. Nothing. Instead Jaime was making his way over to the port-a-potties. Maybe he knew where Angela was.

“Hey! Rat! Would ya c’mere for a sec?” he shouted into the swooping winds of the coast. 

Jaime hobbled his way over and noticed Hanzo on the ground squirming around.

“Whataya need mate? I was just eh makin’ my way to the pot.”

McCree glanced at the bar that was at the other end of the beach. He couldn’t see anything or anyone. 

“Hey uh, would ya happen to know where Angela is? We got a lil’ situation here”, he said while motioning his head down to Hanzo on the towel. 

Jaime inspected Hanzo with squinty eyes. Then rubbed his pointy chin with his index finger and thumb. 

“What ‘append? Did he get stung by a jellyfish? I’ve ‘ad a few stings myself in the past”, Jaime said staring up at the clouds with a quizzical look. “I tell you what, I’ll get Angela but you know what helps jellyfish stings?”

“What?” McCree asked flatly. 

Jaime’s face split into a mischievous grin. “Ya pee on it!”

Hanzo’s head whipped back so fast it looked as if it was about to fly off his shoulders. 

“NO ONE is urinating on me. Now if you are done with your nonsense, please leave Jaime!” Hanzo spat maliciously. 

Jaime raised his arms in mock surrender. “Hey, it works. If you’re in enough pain, it does the job but I’ll be back with Angela,” he said as he slowly started to trudge through the sand away from them. 

As soon as Jaime was out of earshot, McCree raised an eyebrow at Hanzo. 

“So whataya say sugar? I’ve been needin’ to piss for well over an hour now and I ain’t goin’ in no port-a-potty. Even I think they’re disgustin’”.

Hanzo’s feathers were really ruffled now.

“There is nothing to be said. I already told you no! It is a vile plan and I want nothing to do with it!” As soon as he finished ranting, the throbbing in his buttcheek flared deep in the muscle. McCree looked at him sympathetically.

“Look darlin’, I promise I only want to help. It won’t be weird if we don’t make it weird. Just look the other way and pretend I’m pourin’ some hot water on... yer ass?” He gritted his teeth at his dumb words.

Hanzo contemplated for some time before the throbbing became unbearable, he positioned himself away from McCree and stood on his knees. 

“Fine. Do it quickly then”, he said while pulling up the bottom of his swimsuit.

McCree’s face heat up as he watched Hanzo’s voluptuous asscheek pop out from underneath his black trunks. The skin was smooth and free of sand unlike the rest of his perfect legs. McCree had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from saying something. He practically drooled at the wondrous sight. 

Meanwhile Hanzo was moving his towel out of the way so nothing got on it but noticed McCree had gone silent and made the mistake of looking back at him. 

“So have you chickened out cowbo—“.

McCree had his dick already in his hand but as his eyes met with Hanzo’s big brown ones, he quickly covered himself. Hanzo turned away with his face as red as a tomato.

The cowboy was packing heat in more ways than one. 

McCree coughed then to get Hanzo’s attention. 

“I’m uh, gonna start now”, his voice shaky and not as confident as it had been.

“Just do it then”, Hanzo said breathlessly.

McCree would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad bit excited about pissing on his crush. Still he was kind of embarrassed that Hanzo had seen his pecker; that was unplanned. Nonetheless, he had to be Hanzo’s knight in shining armor and if peeing on him was the solution then damn it! He was going to do it! 

Except nothing came out. 

McCree didn’t say anything though out of wanting to save himself from death by embarrassment. 

Hanzo’s body tensed. “Well cowboy? What is taking so long?”

“I-I-I can’t do it, nothin’s comin’ out! I really have ta piss though..”

“You can’t... pee? Does the infamous Jesse McCree have stage fright?” He teased.

“Now you listen here princess! If yer gonna be that way— oop there it goes. Ya feel it Hanzo?” he asked with an evil, wicked grin. 

Hanzo felt it alright. The hot liquid ran down his thigh and disappeared into the sand below them. A chill went down his spine and he covered his mouth to hide a gasp when the stream became more intense. 

McCree noticed and had to stop the images popping up in his head on how he could make Hanzo gasp like that over and over again.

Finally, the last dribble of urine was shaken off into the sand, some getting on Hanzo’s back which made McCree laugh in his head.

“How do ya feel darlin’? The pain still there?”

Hanzo pulled the trunks back down and plopped down onto the sand with his head resting in his palm. 

“I can’t believe we just did that.”

McCree smiled and patted Hanzo on the back. 

“Don’t worry about it too much Han, it’s just pee—“

“Thank you, for helping me Jesse”, Hanzo said as he still looked down bashfully.

McCree’s heart felt like it was going to explode right there in his ribcage. He fiddled with the string on his trunks before speaking up again. 

“Hey uh, Hanzo. Would you maybe like to I don’t know, go—“, he was suddenly cut off when he heard Jaime yelling gibberish at them. Angela was heading right to them. 

Angela knelt down next to the two men and looked at the problem area and just cocked an eyebrow.

“Nothing seems to be wrong. I see no inflammation or swelling, were you swimming just now?” she asked calmly. 

“...yes”.

“Then it’s nothing to worry about! You have a muscle cramp, just rub it out and you’ll be fine in no time. But can I ask something?”

Hanzo stared. 

“Why is there urine all over your leg? Did you have an accident?” she asked innocently.

McCree finally lost it and bent over letting out a loud barking laugh to which Hanzo reacted by swatting at McCree’s leg. 

Angela smiled and said her goodbyes as she walked back to the bar area.

Hanzo stared intently at the sand and evaded Jesse’s eyes when he tried talking to him.

“Oh come on, that is pretty darn funny! C’mon lemme see that pretty smile darlin’!”

Hanzo snickered and covered his mouth as he looked away. McCree wanted to kiss the man so badly. 

“Told ya it was funny!”

“That is not what I’m laughing about”, Hanzo’s voice breaking as he said it.

“Then what..?”

“Your dick is still partially out”.

“OH JESUS!”

Hanzo burst out into full on laughter and it was the most beautiful thing McCree had heard in his life. As he finished stuffing himself back in his pants, he scratched the back of his neck, nerves already eating away at him. Hanzo’s laughter finally faltered and left them with awkward silence. McCree sighed. 

“So what I was tryin’ to say back there was, would ya like to maybe go to that bakery down the way? With me?” he asked nervously.

“Hmm... is there cake?”

“Of course”.

“Then count me in cowboy”.


End file.
